A Letter to the Single Ladies

To Women Both Young and Old Who Are Unbetrothed, Uncommitted, Untethered and Painfully Free:

On this Valentine’s Day while you celebrate your freedom and embrace your singlehood, I want you to know that marriage is hard work. Compromise, listening, tenderness towards another, occasional selflessness, the donning of make-up and matching clothes not made out of fleece, putting out when sleep would be preferred, cooking for the tastes of another -- these are things that are expected in a relationship. A lot of sacrifice, pain and toil but there is a pay off and that pay off occurs every February 14.

Single ladies, each year on Valentine’s Day, I wake up and gleefully shout, “Yes, I am not alone.” I celebrate the fact that I will not spend the day crying in my copy of Wuthering Heights, nor will I spend my evening hiking up my skirt a little while handing out books by Lee Child and Michael Connelly to unsuspecting, adventure-seeking male library patrons. No need for acts of amorous desperation. I am not the old maid that in my youth I always expected that I would become. I am loved by a beautiful and exceptional man who is not a freak (which even after 15 years together, I am still astounded that I found a non-freak who not only tolerates my freakish ways but generally appreciates and loves my quirks, eccentricities, oddities and plain craziness ). Not only I am fortunate enough to have the love of a wonderful man who spoils me all year long with kind gestures of affectation and simply amazing gifts (mostly of a chocolate variety) throughout the year, but he is also a romantic who does acknowledge the holiday of love annually.

So single ladies, as I smell my flowers and allow my heart-shaped milk chocolates to swish and swirl across my tongue, I think of you today with pity and say “I am so happy to not be one of you.”

Better luck next year and Happy Valentine’s Day (even if you are alone, lonely and feeling a little desperate.)

With Love,

Garbageman’s Daughter
XOXOXOXO

Author’s Note: Please hold the hate mail. I neither believe you nor care if you are single by choice. Get off the computer, put on a nice dress and go to your local bar, laundromat , grocery store or soft serve place to find someone as equally desperate and lonely to keep you company for the evening.

Also, a special Happy Valentine’s Day to my Sweetie. Wish you could be here today.