My fourth child just turned one on October 6. His birthday was on a Sunday, and we were too just too busy to stop and eat cake. So, we delayed the party for a week.
Our rationale was: He's one. He doesn't know what a birthday is and won't be offended if we celebrate it late.
So, the following Saturday, I bought a cake, packed up a few presents, threw the kids in the car, and headed to a popular destination for kids' parties. We did everything by the book. Ordered pizza, got lots of tokens, let the kids play arcade games, sang Happy Birthday and let the baby play with his cake.
The camera didn't work.
So we just staged it the following Saturday when we celebrated our third child's birthday.
As long as the photos aren't time-stamped and his siblings don't tell, he'll never know.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Threat of Girl Haven and the Fear of Eternal Damnation
Girl Haven does not exist, and I have misspent my youth being good and fearing a mythical place where bad girls go to be reformed and learn to respect their mothers.
"We will send you to Girl Haven," said my mother with a cold mix of irritation, resentment, and love required by Church and State.
Girl Haven took girls all ages for every and all kinds of offenses. Bed wetting, bad grades, swearing, smoking, underage drinking, drug-use, teenage pre-martial sex, and disrespecting your parents were all offenses worthy of a stay in Girl Haven.
And as if threat of Girl Haven was not enough, weekly CCD lessons reinforced the threat of eternal damnation for giving into temption and living of a vice filled life.
Parenting by fear certainly worked for my folks. They succeeded in getting me to adulthood with no addictions, no sexually transmitted diseases, no illegitimate children, and no grades lower than C+ in high school Calculus.
Now I often wonder if squandering my opportunity to screw up and be protected by the Juvenile Court System will lead to binge-drinking and serial cheating in my mid-40s. Will I grow to hate my children and husband because I never hooked up with strangers, threw up in a college dorm for reasons other than the flu, or stole lipstick from the corner drugstore?
"We will send you to Girl Haven," said my mother with a cold mix of irritation, resentment, and love required by Church and State.
Girl Haven took girls all ages for every and all kinds of offenses. Bed wetting, bad grades, swearing, smoking, underage drinking, drug-use, teenage pre-martial sex, and disrespecting your parents were all offenses worthy of a stay in Girl Haven.
And as if threat of Girl Haven was not enough, weekly CCD lessons reinforced the threat of eternal damnation for giving into temption and living of a vice filled life.
Parenting by fear certainly worked for my folks. They succeeded in getting me to adulthood with no addictions, no sexually transmitted diseases, no illegitimate children, and no grades lower than C+ in high school Calculus.
Now I often wonder if squandering my opportunity to screw up and be protected by the Juvenile Court System will lead to binge-drinking and serial cheating in my mid-40s. Will I grow to hate my children and husband because I never hooked up with strangers, threw up in a college dorm for reasons other than the flu, or stole lipstick from the corner drugstore?
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