Audiobooks: My House Has Never Been So Clean

The days of audiobooks being for long car rides or marathon training are long gone.  With smartphones, apps, easy downloadables and expectations of frantic multitasking, the audiobook has moved from the car stereo and portable CD player to the palm of our hands and our back-pockets.   

Downloadable audiobooks are not just a trend; they are significant part of how readers now enjoy books. Here are just a few advantages to using downloadable audiobooks:  

1.     Great way to pad your Goodreads reading list.  It is true listening to a book is equivalent reading a book, so you can double or triple your book completion rate by listening to books while multitasking. Time to burn through that list of Classics that you have wanted to get back to since college.

2.     No need for dancing breaks. Listening to music is great for housecleaning, but in my case results in far too many dancing breaks; whereas, my hyper-focused audiobook listening frequently results in cleaning the same spot a few times. Who knew dusting could be so relaxing and thought-provoking?

3.     Spoken-language is beautiful. Hearing words read out loud is a different experience than reading silently in your read. Sometimes adults need to storytime too. Feels good all over.

4.     Audiobooks can make an average book great. A great audiobook reader takes the mundane and makes it spectacular. Case in point: Most of my book club thought that Garth Stein’s The Art of Racing in the Rain was average to good. I initially gave it two thumbs-up until someone asked me, “Did you think the dog was talking to you?” Yes! Yes, I did.       

Enjoying audiobooks has never been so simple with products like Audible (a fee-based subscription service from Amazon); Overdrive (a free service available at most libraries with your library card) and OneClick (also a free service available at most libraries with your library card).    

Banned Books Week: Celebrate Your Right to Read

Obscene, blasphemous, violent, smutty, gory, profane, and racially charged—this is how the censors describe some books. They say, “No.” They say you can’t read it. They say that they know better. They say they are protecting children and preserving values in the community. They say, “No.”

“Yes” is what I say.  Yes, you can have what you want to read. Ask me and I will do my best to give you “obscene, blasphemous, violent, smutty, gory, profane, and racially charged” if that is what you want. If that is not what you want, I will help you find what you do want.

I am public librarian. I will protect and defend your right to read whatever you want, even if you are a kid. I do this each and every day. But, this week is particularly special because it is Banned Books Week, an annual event celebrating the freedom to read. It was launched in 1982 in response to a sudden surge in the number of challenges to books in schools, bookstores and libraries. According to the American Library Association, more than 1,300 books have been challenged since the inception of the event.

This year, I am defending your right to read about underwear clad superheroes, gay penguins, bondage, ghosts and a potty-mouthed Native American. All these topics have been the subject of book challenges. According to the American Library Association, there were 464 challenges reported to the Office of Intellectual Freedom in 2012, and many more go unreported. The 10 most challenged titles of 2012 were:

1. Captain Underpants (series), by Dav Pilkey
   Reasons: Offensive language, unsuited for age group

2. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie
   Reasons: Offensive language, racism, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group

3. Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher
   Reasons: Drugs/alcohol/smoking, sexually explicit, suicide, unsuited for age group

4. Fifty Shades of Grey, by E. L. James.
   Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit

5. And Tango Makes Three, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson.
   Reasons: Homosexuality, unsuited for age group

6. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini.
   Reasons: Homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit

7. Looking for Alaska, by John Green.
   Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group

8. Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz
   Reasons: Unsuited for age group, violence

9. The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls
   Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit

10. Beloved, by Toni Morrison
    Reasons: Sexually explicit, religious viewpoint, violence

A Book Is a Book Even If It Is Electronic

Ebooks: Love them or hate them they are a technological development that is here to stay. So, it was somewhat surprising to see that a bookstore in Portland, Oregon is calling ebook readers “soulless faux-literary technology” and is offering to give out “good old fashioned books” in exchange for Kindles. The Microcosm store is offering between $139 to $189 worth of books for any Kindle that is handed over to them. They argue that ebook readers are fad technology that is killing print (but at the same time do not reveal if the Kindles will be donated, resold or trashed).

The argument that ebooks supplant printed books is simply preposterous. There is a market for both ebooks and their printed counterparts. To claim that ebooks are causing the downfall of print resources is just a knee-jerk reaction to something new, something different. New and different doesn’t mean inferior or superior.

Somewhere along the line (probably with the success of the Amazon’s Kindle and their announcement that ebooks are now outselling printed books), people started pitting ebooks and printed books against each other, which is really quite silly. The intellectual content is exactly the same, only the delivery method is different. And furthermore, each format has their pros and cons, and neither format has to be used exclusively by readers. According to a Newsweek poster published on August 10, 2010, only 15-percent of ebook reader owners will actually stop purchasing printed books.

Why not embrace all formats, hardcover, paperback, audiobooks and ebooks? Just like there is a reader for every book, there is a publishing format right for every situation. There are several factors to consider when selecting a book. First of all, due to digital rights management issues not all publishers and authors are releasing books in e-formats or audio formats, so you may simply be limited by availability. Second, what is the purpose for reading the material? School assignments, leisure, or research. Your intent and purpose for reading will greatly impact format selection. Third, what type of access do you need to the book? Do you need search capabilities for research, electronic notes or space to write notes within the margins, a tangible object for gift giving or a book signing, auditory features necessary to accommodate special needs, the option to lend, donate or the sell the book, or the convenience of carrying multiple books in one lightweight device? Lastly, what format brings you the most personal joy?

In some ways, having multiple formats of books is just like having multiple types of shoes, there are times and places when one type is better than other. There are other times when just about any type of shoe would work, but you are just in the mood for strappy heels instead of the platform sandals.

So just like there is no need to toss out your pumps in favor of flats only, there is no need to ignore printed books in favor of your new Kindle and Nook. But at the same time taking your Nook to bed makes you no less of a bibliophile than the reader who is snuggled up with a ratty old copy of Tale of Two Cities.

Embrace the content over the container.

The Leak and the Book

“…You just met one of the foremost liver surgeons in the world, a pioneer of liver transplants.”

“What’s his name?”

“Thomas Stone.”

Awww yes, the father appears. Does Thomas know that he was just in the same operating room with one of his twins? What will happen when they….

“Mom, my teeth hurt.”

Repeat of teeth brushing, Anbesol for kids and chewable Tylenol, bed, and sleep.

“….Even without makeup, hers would always be a stunning face. Although it was summer, she wore a long wool coat tied tight around the waist, and she hugged herself as if she were cold. She stood there motionless, like a small animal caught invading the territory of a predator, paralyzed and unable to move.”

Damn. She is alive. I thought that bitch died when she hijacked the plane. That is one long lost love that should have stayed lost. Why doesn’t someone tell him that she just isn’t into him? What a ho. Not worth his time. He needs to…

“Mom, the ceiling is leaking,” said the eleven-year-old boy.

“Put a bucket underneath it and I’ll deal with it in about 170 pages,” I said without ever averting my eyes from the book.

“Mom, the ceiling is going to crash down and flood our whole house. The water is gushing out,” he insisted.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes! Put your book and go downstairs!” he said.

Even with the enormous fissure and the threat of the ceiling caving, all I could think about was how a crack spewing water was such a small problem compared to the impending threat of Tuberculosis from a guerrilla solider who screwed almost all of the Eritrean army.

But then reality hit and the immediacy of flash flooding in my basement overshadowed the love affair between the terrorist whore and the brilliant surgeon.

Book closed. Leak stopped. The cuckold waited between the pages while I managed the repairman; fixed breakfast; made an appearance at my favorite non-profit’s open house to help recruit new members; witnessed kindergarten Show and Tell and drove the kids to chess practice.

Then, finally when all things and people were calm, the book remained open until all characters were rendered silent, and I deeply felt their absence.

Author’s Note: If you want to know what marvel of a novel nearly caused me to allow my house to flood, check back on Thursday, January 27 for my full review of the enchanting, mesmerizing, and magnificent novel that is the same caliber of One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez and Middlemarch by George Eliot.

Commitment Issues

Commitment, faithfulness, and devotion -- overrated and not necessary in a modern day society. Nobody sticks to just one at a time nowadays, and I am no exception. Tried 73 different options in 2010 and only finished 27 times.

Yes, my librarian's interest led me down the path of 73 different books, and I only completed 27. This is an atrocious reading record for a librarian since the average librarian completes more than 100 books a year. I always intend to finish what I start but then boredom, restlessness and interest in something more interesting causes me to abandon my old, worn book for the hot new one.

But in 2011, I will break this habit and finish most of the books that I begin. I will only abandon a book if it is too bloody, too scary, or too pedestrian. Life is too short for banal and mediocre books. But if the fiction is literary and the story is even a little compelling, I will remain faithful. This year, I will complete 60 books and will not desert more than 10 novels. This is the year that I will be something that I have never been -- loyal.

Skip the Creativity Training and Head to Your Library

No reading for a week can help you become a more creative person. I highly doubt it, and I am skeptical of this proposition put forth by several “creativity trainers” in my community and across the country. Of course, the whole concept of people building their careers on the fragile dreams and passionate desires of aspiring artists seems unsavory. But even if creativity trainers are legitimate and are not charlatans taking advantage of people’s hopes and aspirations, the proposal to restrict reading is simply cockamamie.

Art inspires art. Artists should devour work by other artists. Visual artists study the works of artists past and present in all different genres. Musicians absorb all types of music. And of course, writers read or at least they should. (Stephen King has admitted to never reading Tolstoy or Austen. Perhaps only a best-selling horror author would have the gumption to boast about his literary ignorance.)

Most creativity classes focus on inspiring and cultivating ingenuity and imaginativeness in everyday life. So when they are looking at influences that could stymie productivity, why just look at just reading? Although this is not an idea that I would ever endorse, why not just eliminate exposure to all types of art for a week? Simply ban books, magazines, newspapers, television shows, movies, theatre productions, museums, galleries, sculpture parks, music, and dance events for a week or month or however long it takes to nurture creativeness out of artistic depravity. I suppose this type of cessation does occur at writing retreats, where all kinds of writers recoil into an Emersonian environment, stripped of all distractions. Participants shed all their baggage and influences to find their own voice. It is not just a random purging of one type of influence.

Not only does the ban on reading seem random but it is absolutely counterproductive. When I am writing regularly, I read habitually. As a librarian, I do not read near the number of books as my colleagues who tend to finish more than one novel a week. In fact, my monthly book completion rates are so low I fear that the American Library Association would take back my Master of Library Science if they knew discovered what a bibliographic slacker I am. But as a writer, my reading habits are voracious with daily consumption of multiple essays as a sampling of poetry, plays, and fiction (more short stories than novels.) Each time I start reading a work of literary fiction, influences start appearing in my writing. Perhaps only I can see Colum McCann and Ian McEwan bleeding onto my page, but I know that their works give me the courage and motivation to push my style and intent. If I shield myself from those influences, I do not grow. Therefore, “creativity specialists” should be encouraging an equal regime of art consumption and art production. It is true that imitation will occur at first but eventually mimicking will transfer into originality and fecundity. Art begets art, and art begets creativity. Save yourself some money. Skip the creativity training and head to your local library and nearby art museum.

On Reading Novels

Most of my library colleagues read one to three books a week. I don’t quite finish books at that speed. In fact, my monthly novel completion rates are so low that I fear that the American Library Association would take back my Master of Library Science degree if they discovered what a bibliographic slacker I am.

Fortunately, I compensate with name-dropping.

Two Different Covers for the Same Book

I have a split bibliographic personality with the two facets coexisting in perfect harmony like both sides of a Shakespearean oxymoron. I am simultaneously a literary snob and an advocate of literacy through recreational reading. You will frequently hear me say that I do not read books that you can find on the end-caps at Walmart, and I would rather have all the blood sucked out of me than read a Stephenie Meyer book. I only read a New York Times Best Seller if it is an award winner or has received phenomenal reviews in some of the finest newspapers and magazines in the United States and the United Kingdom. I spend my time reading great books. I know they are great because someone with authority has told me so. I wait for book critics, professors, and prize committees to tell me what to read. When I am particularly desperate for a great new book, I ask for recommendations from my librarian co-workers who are professional reading advisers by trade. I am not ashamed to admit that I never pick out a book just because it has a provocative title or curious cover. Who has time to be wrong?

However, while I am donning my metaphorical librarian bun, my bibliophile elitism stays repressed and only my advocacy for literacy prevails. I support the tenet: A book for every reader and a reader for every book. This basically means that even the crap, according to my personal standards, deserves to be read and loved. When a patron tells me that James Patterson is great writer, I do not choke on my tongue. Instead, I give her more Patterson books than she can carry; too bad I can’t hire one of the assistants in the “Patterson Machine” to carry the books for her. And, when I am not distributing James Patterson books, I give out Twilight like relief workers in Africa give out Penicillin and rice. I would be a wealthy women if I got paid every time, I handed out Star Wars, Pokémon, The Diary of a Wimpy Kid, or Daisy Meadow's fairy books -- all dreadful books that appeal to reluctant readers. Heck, I have even added David Pilkey’s Captain Underpants series and his Ricky Ricotta’s Mighty Robot books to my list of regular recommendations for kids who do not like to read. It is not great literature, but all readers need to start somewhere. David Pilkey today, Lois Lowry tomorrow?

On Leisure Reading

Books that are New York Times Best Sellers, can be purchased from endcaps at Walmart, and have been converted into cinematic events tend to repel me. Books that are translated into English, win awards and are published posthumously intrigue me. Stieg Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo fits all the descriptions. While reading this Swedish novel, I spend so much time in anguish about the quality of the work that I forget how much I am enjoying it. Although there is not much literary style going on (which could be partially from the translation), the action is gripping. Very entertaining.

If sex is not just for procreation, then reading is not just for learning. I have entered the world of recreational reading. Stieg Larsson today Stephenie Meyer and Janet Evanovich tomorrow? Not likely.