Threat of Girl Haven and the Fear of Eternal Damnation

Girl Haven does not exist, and I have misspent my youth being good and fearing a mythical place where bad girls go to be reformed and learn to respect their mothers.

"We will send you to Girl Haven," said my mother with a cold mix of irritation, resentment, and love required by Church and State.

Girl Haven took girls all ages for every and all kinds of offenses. Bed wetting, bad grades, swearing, smoking, underage drinking, drug-use, teenage pre-martial sex, and disrespecting your parents were all offenses worthy of a stay in Girl Haven.

And as if threat of Girl Haven was not enough, weekly CCD lessons reinforced the threat of eternal damnation for giving into temption and living of a vice filled life.

Parenting by fear certainly worked for my folks. They succeeded in getting me to adulthood with no addictions, no sexually transmitted diseases, no illegitimate children, and no grades lower than C+ in high school Calculus.

Now I often wonder if squandering my opportunity to screw up and be protected by the Juvenile Court System will lead to binge-drinking and serial cheating in my mid-40s. Will I grow to hate my children and husband because I never hooked up with strangers, threw up in a college dorm for reasons other than the flu, or stole lipstick from the corner drugstore?