If you have enough kids, you’ll eventually get a good looking one.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The Phone Call
Each morning, I stuff his backpack, zip his coat, tuck $2.00 in his pocket for hot lunch, give him a kiss and nudge him towards the bus with a few reminders. Don’t pick your nose. Be kind to others. Raise your hand before talking, and don’t hold it too long.
Does he listen to the advice that I gave him for the first five years of his life?
I am not sure.
The phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Hi, this is your son’s teacher. Do you have a few minutes?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I just wanted to let you know that your son has won the Citizen of the Month Award because of his compassion and empathy for others. He is the only child in our class to pick a special needs student to be his partner, and today he sat with a sick girl on the playground during all of recess.”
Does he listen to the advice that I gave him for the first five years of his life?
I am not sure.
The phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Hi, this is your son’s teacher. Do you have a few minutes?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I just wanted to let you know that your son has won the Citizen of the Month Award because of his compassion and empathy for others. He is the only child in our class to pick a special needs student to be his partner, and today he sat with a sick girl on the playground during all of recess.”
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Attention Balloon Parents
Hey Heene Parents:
With so many options to damage your children, did you really need to pimp out your kids to reality T.V. and every news outlet that would listen?
A good ol’ dose of emotional abandonment with a little bit hyper-criticism and overly high expectations would have been enough to guarantee life-long therapy for the kids without a multimedia record documenting for perpetuity what a douchebag their father is.
In the future be like every other family in America and keep your dysfunction hidden.
Sincerely,
Garbageman's Daughter
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