Robert Downey, Jr., you inflicted my heart with great pain in 2000, but I am finally ready to forgive you for causing the cancellation of Ally McBeal. Yes, it was you-- not the writers, or the network executives, or advertisers-- that led to the demise of the Emmy winning dramedy.
Among sagging ratings, you were hired to save the show. You succeeded. Viewership skyrocketed and advertisers were back on board. You won a Golden Globe for your work as Larry Paul. The chemistry between you and Calista Flockhart was just hot, hot, hot. Ally McBeal was back in the ratings game all because of you.
Then it happened, you got arrested. Came back to work, and you got arrested yet again. You couldn’t stay out jail. Like most drug addicts, even the ones with talent, you lost your job.
Your dismissal left the show in such an embarrassingly abyssal state that David E. Kelly reached deep into the bowels of desperation and called upon Jon (can act slightly better than he can sing) Bon Jovi and a relatively undiscovered Hayden Panettiere to save the show. It didn’t work and Ally McBeal was canceled one season later.
So, there I was, alone in a lurch on Monday nights. Obviously, not much going on for the leading lady either; thus, resulting in the Calista Flockhart/Harrison Ford coupling. Really? If she would have worked just a few seasons longer, the world would have been spared the low-rent version of Lara Flynn Boyle/Jack Nicholson.
Eventually, I was able to move on by watching Ally McBeal in a hospital also known as Scrubs. Later, I fixated on a more whiny and depressed version of Ally known as Meredith Grey. But really, no other show served as an adequate substitute for imaginary dancing babies and Barry White songs in a co-ed bathroom.
But time has passed…slowly when there was nothing good on T.V. It has been almost a decade since your termination. You have redeemed yourself by making super hero movies watchable and putting the sexy back in Sherlock Holmes. Oh yeah, kicking your drug habit and living a life of sobriety isn’t too shabby either.
So, all is forgiven Robert Downey, Jr.
