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| Substanially less than their typical Halloween loot. |
“Mom, you are a trick or treating failure,” said the caustic eleven-year-old in the adorable oversized Luigi costume that made him look like a nine-year-old.
“This is the worst Halloween ever. We should have kept dad and sent you to Philadelphia. He is great at trick or treating. We always get more candy and have more fun with him,” he yelled at me while walking in our quiet neighborhood populated with old people who don’t turn on their lights.
“Good. That was my goal to make your Halloween suck. Glad I succeeded,” I yelled back. “I took you down the street with the big houses thinking they would have the best candy. Sorry for trying something different.”
“I hate Halloween. It is a stupid holiday,” he responded.
The eight-year-old Snow Princess chimes in, “I just wanted to go down the hill like dad always takes us. But oh no, mom is too lazy. She is too wimpy to push the stroller back up the hill.”
“I love Halloween,” interrupted the three-year-old who is also dressed like Luigi from the Super Mario Brothers.
“You are so sweet. Do you want to go to more houses?”
“Can we go home now?” said the gorgeous olive skinned six-year-old suitably dressed as Mario.
“Sure, because I just spent an hour getting all of you ready just so we can go home 35 minutes later.”
We open the door. The kids grudgingly throw their candy on the table.
“Pathetic,” said the oldest.
“Don’t take off your mustaches. I need pictures,” I said.
All three mustaches and hats hit the floor followed by the princess headdress.
“Hats back on and stand against the wall, so I can get a damn picture. Stand up straight and smile”
“You get three tries and then we are out of here,” said the disgruntled pre-teen.
“One. Two. Three. We are done.”
They took off running.
“Worst Halloween ever. What was the point? I am going to bed.” The group followed him, depriving me of my usual hugs and kisses.
“Good. Happy Halloween.”
Lights off for the kids and a three candy bar night for me.
