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| Four kids but five toothbrushes. Guess my teeth looked plague encrusted too. |
Please allow me to enlighten you and share a well-known secret among fun, lighthearted germy people, toothbrushes are not treats! In fact, putting a toothbrush in the bag of a wide-eyed, smile-flashing, costume-clad toddler is just cruel. So cruel that my three-year-old cried when a bristle stick was thrown in his sack of goodies.
Thank you for generosity but my children already have toothbrushes, and we don’t give a damn about your anti-candy campaign. So next time, throw us some Tootsie Rolls, Double Bubble gum, Kit Kats or even some stickers, but please keep your toothbrushes to remedy your own sick, plaque fetishes.
Sincerely,
Garbageman’s Daughter and Her Traumatized Three-Year-Old
