Today is my favorite day of the month – Book Club Day. This is the one time monthly when I hire a babysitter and head to a local coffee shop for an evening out with the ladies – an evening of thoughtful debate, great conversation, ridiculous but splendid non-book related tangents and a plethora of laughter. For the past few months, I have been posting my thoughts on our monthly selection the morning of our meeting. But since my post is typically a long-winded over-the-top ranting that lambastes the book and ridicules the author, it has been requested that I wait till after the book club meeting so that I don’t bias the discussion before it begins. A fair and reasonable request although I fear that I could be influenced my other book club members and forced to have an open-mind or even concede on a few of my assertions. But probably not, since I hated Little Bee last month and left the discussion feeling absolutely assured that I was right despite the numerous people who disagreed with me.
So instead of sharing my opinions (my, oh so many, strong opinions) on Lisa See’s Snowflower and the Secret Fan, I decided to think about my role as a book club moderator. About fifteen months ago, a bright and friendly attorney asked me, since I am a librarian, to take over for her as the moderator of a small but established book club. With little thought, I started facilitating book selection and moderating meetings. I did no research on the role of the book moderator or how to be a good moderator. Just read the book, brought some questions, lead the discussion and the let tangents fly. Our book club looks like most book clubs—some discussion about the book, a little debate about the issues in the book followed by hilarious conversations about kids, in-laws, husbands, ex-boyfriends, sex, food, Facebook and traumatic childhood memories. Really no subject is taboo. Each month, a good time is had by all; news of our fun spreads; and, we pick up a new member the following month. So based on the general happiness of the participants, I figured I was moderating like a good moderator should…but this might not be the case, according to a guide published on About.com on “How to Lead a Book Club.”
The article, written by Erin Collazo Miller, lists nine steps and two tips on how to be an effective book club moderator. Some of the advice is basic like: "Read the book; write down important page numbers; and come up with eight to ten questions about the book. Then, she advises book club moderators to allow others to comment first. Fascinating concept that I never not once tried and not sure if I would ever have that kind of willpower and self-control. I must admit in most cases I dominate the conversation. But in my defense, I am the mother of four and not a single one of kids bothers to listen to me. So when I have a trapped audience that seems to be listening, I exploit the opportunity to talk, talk and talk some more, sharing every trivial and random thought. Book Club tends to become The Adventures of the Garbageman’s Daughter Live, full of ridiculous anecdotes and raucous tangents, which according to Miller, I am suppose to be controlling.
She writes: “Rein in tangents… A little off topic conversation is fine, but you also want to respect the fact that people have read the book and expect to talk about it. As the facilitator, it is your job to recognize tangents and bring the discussion back to the book.” I suppose she would not approve of my one to three minute monthly tangent about purple news from the world of Prince. No one cares, but for a moment each book club it feels like is 1984 again. Then, we move onto the next tangent which normally involves my blog, my kids or my bad hair in some way.
But eventually, we get back to the book. So tonight when we return to the book, I should remember Miller’s tip, “Do not make dismissive statements toward other people's comments." Yeah, I have to say that one never occurred to me either. Sometimes people are just wrong and they need to know it. But I could soften my approach considering last month one of the moms sitting beside me begged for me to not chop off her fingers like the scene in Little Bee. Really she was never in any danger. She didn’t like the book either, so her fingers were safe.
So perhaps if I follow these tips tonight, there will be no need for impromptu foot-binding.
