Wrapped presents under the tree with little name tags that read “From: Santa.” This was the image I experienced every Christmas morning during my childhood. Santa Claus brought all the gifts and all the gifts were wrapped, except the huge ones like a bike or a life-size kitchenette (which would later be my premise for rebelling against domesticity and adopting Feminism). Mom and Dad stoically allowed The Man In Red to take all the credit. If this format was good enough for me, it was going to be good enough for my kids.
So, I thought until Christmas Eve 2003.
While spending the Holidays at my in-laws house, my husband and I performed our usual Christmas ritual of wrapping presents and putting them under the tree. But, before I could wrap the Lego table that my husband proudly purchased for our three-year-old son who already displayed tremendous talent in the areas of engineering and construction, my mother-in-law had the table and chairs out of the box, assembled and in front of the tree along with a large art easel that she bought for him so his drafting, sketching and painting skills could continue to flourish.
“Why are they out of the box?” I interrogated.
“They are Santa Presents. Santa is too busy to wrap gifts.”
Having neither a witty response nor the courage to stand up to her, I went along with the ridiculous, anti-climatic, non-surprising, generally un-fun plan. But to this day I wonder why Santa is too busy to wrap the gifts? He has 364 days to prepare for his big night. And, what’s the point of having Elves? Don’t they spend all their days making toys, wrapping them and loading the sled? Sure, the man is busy, but if he has to go down the chimney anyway, a little wrapping paper shouldn’t slow him down too much.
Unwrapped gifts from Santa are as ridiculous as Elf on the Shelf. Save the $29.99 by skipping the Elf and just buy some wrapping paper.
