Teams suit up in matching uniforms to promote unity and common goals. Pre-schoolers sport identical bright colored t-shirts for easy recognition just in case a tot wanders from the group. Although familial harmony and easy lost person detection are legitimate reasons to dress everyone the same, my family dresses alike because I delight in torturing them with matching garbs for just about every occasion. Halloween, Christmas, Fourth of July -- these are the obvious holidays that allow my family to wear complimentary attire, and I never shy away from opportunities to embarrass my kids with matching Mario Brothers Halloween costumes, identical Christmas shirts or the same pajamas.
In addition to outfitting my family in typical tacky holiday outfits, I can never pass up classic complimentary color days, which normally occur for summer outings but can transpire on a whim any time of the year. On complimentary color days, I shout “blue” or “green” or “brown” or “red.” Once the color of the day is decided, each family member is required to dress in that color. Of course, no one ever willingly dresses in the color of the day, and they typically yell “You are just doing this to get good pictures for Facebook.”
I respond, “Why else would I do anything?” Then, I hand them their carefully selected ensembles. Their whining only heightens my delight. They have no choice but to comply; they are my life-size Ken and Barbie dolls. Isn’t that the reason everyone gets married and has kids? Complete control over an entire family’s fashion choices.
